Back to Boston, 15 year reunion and running
I just couldn't really identify with many people there. I'm not raising a family and I don't have kids. I think being the only gay person in my entire graduating class (or at least at the reunion) has made me feel this way. I was never an outcast in high school. I wasn't really picked on. I was athletic and the captain of the tennis team. I sort of blended in. I'm sure people had their suspicions though.
As I progressed through my 20s, something inside of me wanted me to leave and go very far away. I had an overwhelming urge to do this once things in my professional and personal life just weren't sitting with me well.. I never had the desire to stay close to where my family lives for various reasons. Maybe if my upbringing were a bit different I would never have moved. I couldn't picture myself living in the same place for my entire life. Some people are content with that. There's certainly nothing wrong with that, but it just feels so foreign to me. I think people like to put themselves in very comfortable surroundings and I can see why. I needed to branch out, see other areas of this country. I really loved California since the first time I visited on a work trip in 2001. I fell in love. I told myself then that I would move someday and I did. I never looked back.
I feel down today though. Maybe it's because of the weather. I have realized that Southern California has changed me. It has spoiled me. But it's just not the weather. It's so much more than that. Being back in Mass has made me reflect on my life. I've realized that I have never really followed my passion in a professional sense. With the marathon running I have followed my passion. I set goals, achieved them and feel at peace.
It took me a while to realize that I want to work in marketing. But am I truly happy? Some days I feel ok with everything. Other days, I just want to drop everything an open a chocolate or gelato cafe. I think it's in my blood that I have always wanted to work for myself. My dad ran his own business for 20+ years before he died.
I'm in Boston until Dec 2. I decided to come home for two reasons. First, I was FORCED to take vacation time at work. We can't carry over our PTO (Paid Time Off) to 2010 due to cost saving measures at my company. I guess it's better than taking a pay cut or being laid off. So I was able to book a free trip with my American Advantage miles.
This is the first time since I moved away in 2004 that I have been to Boston during a cold time of year. Boston has crappy weather most of the year if you count heat, humidity and rain, in addition to the cold, snow and ice of the winter months. Anyway, Friday felt like Seattle with cold, windy and rainy conditions. Yesterday was colder, drier and windy and I went running 6 miles. It was a struggle to keep a decent pace of 7:05 per mile. Dead brown leaves everywhere with broken branches all over the streets. Nothing is green. Green makes Anthony happy. Brown does not.