Happy Birthday and other thoughts on mid-30s

Today I left my "early" 30s. I am 34. Wow, I still can't believe it. I feel this age so much more than any other birthday.  It felt like yesterday that I was just 24, living in Davis Square near Boston and hanging out at Diesel Cafe.So many hopes and dreams. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. And after 7 jobs later, I find myself living in Orange County trying to re-start my life yet again. I left San Diego, a place very dear to my heart. It was a tough transition and I'm struggling to find a social life here. I'm trying to find my community, which seems lost and hidden in valleys and hills. Most of my friends are in San Diego and Boston.

Life has certainly taken several turns over the past 10 years. There is a huge part of me that is still lost. I really don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I'm still 24 in my heart. The problem is, I am grown up and must deal with life and its responsibilities. There are so many changes that have yet to come. I see them coming. I can sense them. The beauty of it is that I have control over my life. I can decide what will happen from here on out. There are some major chances I must take in order to truly be happy. It may involve several years of working non-stop for something that may or may not materialize or be profitable. I know that in my heart what's right for me. I just have take yet another risk and go for it. It's not a foreign concept to me. I've already taken major risks before. So I'm giving myself a time line tonight. Within the next year I will take serious steps to achieve my goal. I can't guarantee that I will get there in a year, but I sure as hell hope to be a lot closer to it.