Christmas and my birthday

So I have been nagging my friend Nirit to write a blog entry, while I have yet to write my own since Dec 12. The goal was both of us were going to write one on the same day, today, on Christmas. I really enjoy reading her entries, as she tends to write in a similar, confessional tone. I especially enjoyed reading hers today as I felt she wrote it from the core.

Nathan's Red Velvet brownies made their debut!

Nirit and her sister Elia are visiting from Phoenix. They haven't been here in 3.5 years so it's a treat to spend Christmas with them. Today we went to see the movie "I Love You Phillip Morris" with Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. It was really good, but really sad and really funny in other parts. Ewan is my ultimate physical type. I love his very Scottish looks with the freckles and the reddish/blond hair. In this movie he looked golden almost. *Sigh* They definitely added highlights to his hair.

I had never really been into Ewan until I saw the movie "Moulin Rouge". In that movie he was singing and dancing and had dyed black hair. I guess I just developed my crush back then. Nirit told me today she remembers an old blog entry of mine where I describe that I pretended that he was singing to me instead of Nicole Kidman in the film.

I love my red velvet cake!

The 35th birthday party I threw last weekend for myself went really well. I was really worried there was going to be too many people in the condo. Some people didn't show up, but for the most part everyone who RSVP'd came. I think there were about 30 people at one point, but some people were talking outside so they all weren't in my place at one time.  It was nice to finally have people over when most of it was in an acceptable condition. I still need new carpet in the bedrooms and a dresser and end tables, but I am relatively happy.

Although after all the rain we have had in the past week (6 straight days of rain), there is now some leaking along the wall above my fireplace. That really stresses me out. I have no control over the situation and it just really upsets me. I am worried it will cost thousands of dollars. What if the dry wall is ruined? What if there is moisture inside somewhere I can't see? Ugggh, I am trying not to obsess but since it's a holiday weekend it won't be resolved until next week most likely.

Back to the party, Jason got me a delicious red velvet cake. We got it at a local bakery/coffee house called Twiggs. I also made red velvet cupcakes from scratch along with cream cheese frosting. Upon my request my friend Nathan made red velvet brownies! They were so good. He had been experimenting for weeks and finally felt the recipe was ready. He was supposed to ship them to me Fed Ex 3-day so it wouldn't cost a fortune, but he had no access to a kitchen to bake them until 2 days before the party, so $70 later, I got them delivered to my office on the Friday before the party. I was shocked they cost that much to ship and felt bad Nathan had to spend the money. Well, it was for a good cause and everyone ate them up. I had no leftovers for that dish!

Happy Birthday and other thoughts on mid-30s

Today I left my "early" 30s. I am 34. Wow, I still can't believe it. I feel this age so much more than any other birthday.  It felt like yesterday that I was just 24, living in Davis Square near Boston and hanging out at Diesel Cafe.So many hopes and dreams. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. And after 7 jobs later, I find myself living in Orange County trying to re-start my life yet again. I left San Diego, a place very dear to my heart. It was a tough transition and I'm struggling to find a social life here. I'm trying to find my community, which seems lost and hidden in valleys and hills. Most of my friends are in San Diego and Boston.

Life has certainly taken several turns over the past 10 years. There is a huge part of me that is still lost. I really don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I'm still 24 in my heart. The problem is, I am grown up and must deal with life and its responsibilities. There are so many changes that have yet to come. I see them coming. I can sense them. The beauty of it is that I have control over my life. I can decide what will happen from here on out. There are some major chances I must take in order to truly be happy. It may involve several years of working non-stop for something that may or may not materialize or be profitable. I know that in my heart what's right for me. I just have take yet another risk and go for it. It's not a foreign concept to me. I've already taken major risks before. So I'm giving myself a time line tonight. Within the next year I will take serious steps to achieve my goal. I can't guarantee that I will get there in a year, but I sure as hell hope to be a lot closer to it.