Marathon Life

Friday, March 26, 2010

Being Anthony and the Importance of No Regrets

Much of my inspiration seems to come from pop culture and lately I've been obsessed with a show I stumbled upon on called Being Erica. It's a Canadian show (airs on SoapNet in the US) in its second season where the protagonist Erica feels unsatisfied with her life since she's not where she wants to be in her career or love life. At 32 she feels like a failure and was fired from a customer service job the same day a guy stood her up for a date since he wanted to go to the gym. One day while walking the streets of Toronto she runs into a therapist named Dr. Tom. He's not your ordinary therapist. After having her write down all of her regrets in life he is able to transport her back in time to "re-live" these situations in hope that she can manage them differently. This is where I get envious of this fictional character in this fictional show. I realize this is not possible, but I strongly relate to Erica's struggles.

I would give anything go to back in time and make different decisions. Regrets plague me daily as I'm always obsessing about the "what ifs" in life. I constantly think about major crossroads that have occurred during my life, how they played out and how they would have turned out differently if I had made a different decision. So often, especially in the last year I have wanted to go back in time to fix things. That's my struggle. I struggle living in today.

I am trying to sort of repair the decision I made last year to take the job in Irvine by taking steps to get my old life back in San Diego. I'm trying to have no regrets and get what I want out of life. One of those involves my living situation. The offer I put on the short sale condo in San Diego is still in process. It's in the hands of the bank so I just have to wait now. Once I get approved to purchase, I have a 30-45 day window to close. My lease is up here May 31, so I really hope things happen soon for the condo. I can't wait to have my own place again in San Diego. I have contemplated commuting up to my job in Irvine. I know it would be at least a 1 hour 40 min drive each day if I leave at 6:30am. I have set up a place to live Mon-Wed nights in Irvine for $300 a month. The woman is flexible and she knows I am trying to buy this condo. At least I have a back up plan. Hopefully I won't need to even rent from her, assuming I get a new job in San Diego soon.

The immediate goals are to close on the condo and then get a new job. I have some possibilities that could work out for me. There is a start up olive oil and spice company and I already met with the owner. It's only him right now. So this would be a huge change from what I'm used to. I think it's what I want since there would be a lot of room to grow and learn. I could build a company from the ground up, literally.  I can't work for him until my condo is closed. I wouldn't be able to get approved on a loan if I was working for him. I told him that once I had the condo I would be motivated to work for him. Right now, I can do it. Although I have thought about it. I just don't want to put my condo in jeopardy.
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posted by Anthony at 12:43 AM


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